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https://mathprofessorquotes.com/post/13 ... ebysubject(Examples)
“This is the story of the beautiful prince called Orthonormal Basis who was turned into the ugly beast called Arbitrary Basis and could only be turned back by Gram-Schmidt’s orthonormalization kiss of true love.”
“If you are really good at smoking weed, you may be able to imagine the fourth dimension.”
“Have the common decency to put your vectors in a column.”
“Linear algebra is like an onion. And not because it makes you cry.”
“If you do enough math, you basically have to learn the entire Greek alphabet. On rare occasions, the Hebrew alphabet.”
“If you can’t remember this formula, set it as your wifi password.”
“Squares kill negative signs, poor innocent negative signs.”
“Matrices are Roman Catholic—rows come before columns!”
“I don’t want to influence you, but every self respecting person believes Zorn’s Lemma.”
“We’re going to draw a circle to demonstrate this. Pretend that’s a circle.”
“You know how to do this, don’t try to fool me. Your linear algebra teacher is my wife, I know she taught you this.”
“You can’t do anything in this life without parametrization. Even my belly can be parametrized by spherical coordinates.”
“I’ll call this function phi, making it a bit different than usual. I know that for some of you this could represent a terrible shock, but I’m confident that with a little bravery we can overcome this trauma and go on with the lecture.”
“This part of the equation is ugly, so I’m gonna do the other part first and hope I get hit by an asteroid and die before I get to it.”
“From now on, you can only use L'Hopital’s rule twice per semester, and you’ll have to ask me first!”
“I am never going to hold office hours in my office. The building is scary. The pipes leak. And, worst of all, it is full of other mathematicians.”
“You want to do calculus with numbers? Accounting is over there, here in math we do calculus with letters.”
“If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck….then it’s a Taylor polynomial, as 99% of the population knows”
"Remember polar coordinates? Well now we get to do double integrals with them! Yeah! Why do none of you look excited?”
“Welcome to integral vector calculus, or as I like to call it: integrals on steroids.”
“I want to replace all my Xs with U.”
“The third derivative is called jerk. I met a lot of third derivatives on the road this morning.”
“If you don’t know the answer to a contour integral problem, just toss a coin. If the outcome is heads, write 0. If tails, write 2πi.”
“I love this next theorem. Honestly, I remember the first time I dated this theorem.”
“This is not a mathematical agreement. This is a social contract.”
“You can have a negative time. Negative 2 is two seconds ago. Two seconds ago I said 'two seconds ago'.
“Who uses u substitutions? U du.”
“How do we prove that the space is complete? Well we take a Cauchy sequence and we pray… do you pray often?”
“Using Radon-Nikodym we get - well, actually it was Cauchy who did this but there are too many theorems named after Cauchy.”
“How hard is this problem? Well if you went to the supermarket, the person selling broccoli could solve it. The broccoli itself could also solve it.”
“I never really understood complex analysis, because the entire subject comprised of one theorem: Assume you have function from the complex numbers to the complex numbers, with any interesting property whatsoever. Then the function is a constant.”
“A better name for ‘Real Analysis’ would be ‘Applied Triangle Inequality 101’"
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