Стилистика и орфография текста на английском языке.

[dilyara-94]

Здравствуйте! Готовлюсь к IELTS, но сейчас нахожусь в поселке, не с кем посоветоваться. Составила эссе к wutting module. Прошу оценить на сколько правильно они стилистически и орфографически они составлены.


1.Today high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Now advertising is living with us in very close connection. We can’t live no ads, because we need information. I agree, sometimes products from ads not needed, but we can discovered something interesting from them.

I every day surfing in internet and see many different ads. I think, more of them useless for people, but anyway many of them buy it. For example, girls and women, who want to grow thin, believe that the pill promise to help them in the problem. Why? Maybe, they tired and sellers know and use it. Sellers know many things to attract the attention of people. It high discount, color ads, also, maybe, high quality of product.

But all not so badly, because not all ads so not needed. From them, we can know new products, for example our favorite cosmetic, also up-to-date technique. My opinion, each from us decides for him what he wants and what he needs to buy. It depend from his lifestyle, hobbits and, or course, his funds. For example, not rich man doesn’t pay attention and doesn’t buy expensive pills from over weight.

So, I think, everybody might think himself and select to buy products useful. Everyone can divide useless ones and useful ones now, when advertising take power on people.

2.Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Each of us has own nature. It is one of reasons how man think about change in his live.
Everyone wants only good changes in life, but sometimes it is not so. That is why many people fear changes. They think that is better without any changes, than doing changes and don’t know what happen tomorrow. Have a stable work, don’t move from place to place, one style of image and hairstyle and so on – it their “happy”. For others it is look like boring, for me too.
My best friend doesn’t like changes so as the people. She wants to replace her work but worry about what may happen after that. She is very talented architect and has many interesting project. And now she spending her life in boring for her work.
It is terrible when people like my friend sitting on work which they aren’t interested. They can develop talent and give us masterpieces in different area. My friend is example from million examples of such.
So, I think, we must change our life to improve its. Don’t worry what will happen. Better try than pity and think: “Maybe, would better, if I tried then.”
Anyway everyone can choose for himself, but don’t be afraid to change, if you think that you can improve your life. The one Russian proverb say: "Everything that has happened for the better". Remember it.

[gribble911]

Немного поправил первый пункт. Старался быть как можно ближе к вашему тексту. Получилось так.

dilyara-94 в сообщении #532976 писал(а):

Now advertising is living with us in very close connection. We can’t live no ads, because we need information. I agree, sometimes products from ads not needed, but we can discovered something interesting from them.

Today we are very close to advertisement. We can't live without ads, because we need information. I agree, sometimes products from ads are not needed, but we can find out something interesting about them from ads.

dilyara-94 в сообщении #532976 писал(а):

I every day surfing in internet and see many different ads. I think, more of them useless for people, but anyway many of them buy it. For example, girls and women, who want to grow thin, believe that the pill promise to help them in the problem. Why? Maybe, they tired and sellers know and use it. Sellers know many things to attract the attention of people. It high discount, color ads, also, maybe, high quality of product.

Every day I surf internet and see many different ads. I think, most of them are useless, but many people buy it anyway. For example, girls and women, who want to grow thin, believe that the pill will help them with their problem. Why? Maybe, they are tired and sellers know and use this. Sellers know many things to attract people's attention. Among those things are: high discount, color ads, also, maybe, high quality of product.

dilyara-94 в сообщении #532976 писал(а):

But all not so badly, because not all ads so not needed. From them, we can know new products, for example our favorite cosmetic, also up-to-date technique. My opinion, each from us decides for him what he wants and what he needs to buy. It depend from his lifestyle, hobbits and, or course, his funds. For example, not rich man doesn’t pay attention and doesn’t buy expensive pills from over weight.

But things are not so bad, because not all ads are useless. From them, we can learn about new products, for example our favorite cosmetic, and up-to-date technical equipment. In my opinion, everyone decide themselves what they want and what they need to buy. It depends on their lifestyle, hobbies and, of course, their funds. For example, not rich man doesn't pay attention to expensive pills for overweight people and doesn’t buy them .

dilyara-94 в сообщении #532976 писал(а):

So, I think, everybody might think himself and select to buy products useful. Everyone can divide useless ones and useful ones now, when advertising take power on people.

So, in my opinion, everybody should think themselves and select and buy useful products. Today everyone can decide which products are useless and which are useful ones.

[dilyara-94]

спасибо! как вам стиль текста?

[gribble911]

Извините, что поздно отвечаю.
Стиль нормальный. Вам предложили тему -- вы изложили собственные мысли. Все хорошо.
Чтобы посмотреть, как это делают другие, можете почитать комментарии и отзывы на imdb.com и похожих сайтах. Посмотрите, как люди строят фразы, может какие-то конструкции возьмете на вооружение.